Yesterday, I woke up at 5 AM and thought to myself, today is the day to start going to the climbing gym. NO lies, I had a bit of anxiety about going. About a month ago I purchased a larger climbing harness when one of my best friends, Phillip attempted to climb 30 pitches on his 30th birthday. Even buying the harness, I was a filled with emotion. Luckily, Patrick, who is an extremely helpful and encouraging climber who works for REI Boulder was there to help me, without judgment. My harness is hot pink and I love it.
My Mantra getting to the BRC: "The journey of a 1000 miles begins with one step."
Ok, harness CHECK. Climbing shoes, turns out I own 2 pair, CHECK. Punch Card at the BRC, (Boulder Rock Club), 5 punches left, CHECK. The basic Know-How of auto-belaying, CHECK. Coffee in me, CHECK. Water bottle, CHECK. Time on a Wednesday before work to go to the climbing gym, CHECK. Way to get to the gym, yes, CHECK.
The hardest part of my day yesterday by far was making it to the BRC. Once there I used my breath to bring my mind back into my body. I harnessed myself, put on my shoes, and walked in. My heart racing, I stared at the wall. I stared at the auto-belay. I clipped in. Another deep breath. I climbed to to the top, and climbed back down. My mind ran wild, "Shit, do I weigh to much for the auto-belay? Surely they would have looked at my 5'3" 188lb body and told me something, like you are not welcome if I was too big." Breathe!
A new Mantra entered my mind... "Climbing is a self-practice." Like yoga, I am not to compare myself, like life, I am not to compare myself. "Life is a self-practice." I must have repeated this mantra, "Climbing is a self-practice," a hundred times in the 30 minutes I climbed 5 routes.
I did finally lean back and let the auto-belay catch me. It was fun. I love climbing. I wanted to be careful that I wasn't hurting myself, but I also wanted to allow myself a good workout. Body resistance of any kind triggers the body to want to off load the poundage. Fun Fun. I left feeling accepted. Even though I was surrounded by thin, fit people, I too am a fit person. I am just not as thin as those around me. However, I am a strong woman, who loves climbing, and the thrill and fitness it provides. "CLIMBING IS A SELF-PRACTICE"
Life lesson for today, I am the only one who needs to accept me.