For most of my life I have struggled with my morning routine, my afternoon routine, and fitting in in general. I read the I Ching, practiced it for several years, and joked about sitting still. I have felt for many years, out of sorts. The pounds went up and down, the happiness went to and fro and the money was either there or not. I spend thousands of dollars on going to university, studying things that were interesting, time-filling, and appropriate in this "Busy Baxton" life of the West. Many techniques, and retreats later, I walked into the library to return a dvd of "Shakespeare: Abridged", and left the library with The Tao of Pooh, an audiobook.
He is round, this bear we know as, Pooh. Simple, and in the "now", he is humble with himself. Not needing more than what any of us need to sustain, us... Friends, Good Food (Honey in his case), and a little adventure at home. I got to thinking that instead of always wanting to get on a plane, what if today I approached it like Pooh, this day. I cleared my calendar, and turned on my creative childlike self that I love so much. The same one that I have been criticized for being, and the same one that inspires others to tell me to "grow up". Excitement bloomed within me at everything that caught my eye, and "doing a whole lot of nothing became doing a whole lot of something". A constant many moments later... I found that "I" was the joy I was missing in my life. This was a week ago, and my life is so filled with magic, and happiness and wonder right now I can hardly contain myself. A large blue dragonfly flew into my house and hung-out, I have found new watering holes less than an hour from my house. My list could go on and on, and only in a week. I realized, I mean, really saw how I have been "TRYING" so hard to put my round peg-of-a-self, into the the square hole, someone, somewhere told me to fill.
The Journey. Life is one fabulous journey. I have known for quiet some time now, that the more sleep I get, the more relaxed into my body I become, that the more the universe manifests brilliance into my life. It's kind of an opposite sort of thing. It's slow. Slow moves forward, more than fast going backwards. Maybe that doesn't make sense, but the fact that the slower I go, the more I do, does. Once upon this last week, after finding my inner child, my inner peace came to me. I have been and will always be OK, with me, just me. With the way I walk, and stop a lot along the way. With my quick to smile attitude, after something jarring has happened. These are part of my unique me. I have been adjusting my workout schedule to meet these new spaces, in hopes that a fun repetition might help my longevity and strength goals. Simple Simple Simple. If in knowledge we have to gain, and in wisdom we take away, then I want to take away 50 pounds of fat. Hopefully in this journey of loss, I will have learned more about myself, and how this crazy body thing works. "Goals are just Miracles with Deadlines" is a sign that has flashed in front of me recently. What are your goals? Are you being the you you know you are? Are you open to the possibility of Miracles? Just some thoughts. Share if you want to, I love a good story.